How Humanity Survives...

Victimhood and Responsibility

The song pairing for today is Cochise by Audioslave, compliments of the chef.”

I woke up the other morning with a familiar voice in my head. It was raging against him, her, this, that, and the machine. When I went inside and pulled back the great and powerful curtain, a frightened little green man stood there waving his hands around and squeaking into the microphone. I did our dance; ushered him away from the microphone, wrote the word VICTIM on his forehead, and sent him on his merry way.

So what is he so scared of? It’s a big question, but let’s start with something we all intuitively feel:

On its current trajectory, our culture and society are f*cked.

Most of us feel powerless in the face of it. The basic paradigms that underlie our culture and societal structures are out of alignment with reality and disconnected from the spirit of nature. And by that I mean we are out of alignment with most of the fundamental principles followed by all SPECIES who SURVIVE on this earth. In other words, we’re on a highway to hell baby.

So what gives?

There is plenty to go around, but every day my own dance with the little green man reminds me to begin with enemy numero uno: VICTIMHOOD.

Most of us, most of the time, don’t take personal responsibility for what we create in our lives.

Neighbor’s dog shits on our lawn? We think, “Damn dog, rude neighbor.”
Manager ignores our PTO request? “Sh*t manager.”
Employee not hitting the mark? “Bad hire, time for new blood!”
Partner leaves things a mess in the kitchen, won’t f*ck us, and doesn’t appreciate our contributions. Get poly and start swiping for the upgrade baby!
The kid won’t shut up, do what we say, screaming, fighting, and getting bad grades? 100% bonified, doctor recommended diagnosed Broken Kid syndrome.
Oh no? Love the kid too much to blame them? Then it’s the crappy school and big bad teacher. Better get rich quick and put our kid in Waldorf’s lap.

Okay, okay, so sometimes it’s true. Maybe you are a person of color, foreign-speaking, indigenous, female, old, young, diagnosed, or disabled and the cards actually ARE stacked against you in one way or another. Well, you know what’s screwing up the people that are screwing you? They think it’s someone else’s problem!

Count the number of people you know who consistently take 100% personal responsibility for everything they say, do, think, and feel. How many people do you know who do that even half the time? How many times have you ever heard some public intellectual Dr. Hack-a-sack Ph.D., even acknowledge that we have a problem with personal responsibility in this culture?

What about all the spiritual leaders?
Shambala, and all the Rinpoche Buddhist gropefests.
The endless list of evangelical Christian leader sexual scandals
Dali Llama asking and a kid sucking his tongue
The Holy Roman Catholic Church
The highly publicized New Age cult tragedies…
Is your ayahuasca circle getting a bit squirrely lately?

And the political leaders?…
Need I say more?

Victimhood rules most of our lives, most of the time. It dominates our society. Even the perpetrators are victims at heart. Our colonial science gods styled us Apex Predators, it turns out we are more like Apex Victims. It’s destroying us. (Not to mention the other non-human beings on the planet.)

The only cure is personal responsibility. And that means claiming your own shit.

Here’s a fact for you: Everyone has a major role in creating and perpetuating everything they experience. In order to even approach living that concept, it means you’ve got to face yourself.

All of us have something inside ourselves that is asking to be faced. What’s yours?

For me, asking that question is a daily labor, one that is absolutely essential if I plan to continue to give my gift to my family, community, and the world.

If you want to face yourself, I’ll help you. If you want to learn more, let’s learn more together. If you’ve got it figured out, tell us how you did it. If you want to stick with the program, stick with it, but just know, this isn’t just about your happiness, your trauma, your family, your needs, wants, and desires, it’s about the survival of the species.

But it’s never too late to start.
I’ll leave the light on for you.
-Devon

PS: I have a new podcast episode out. Give it a hear here: